Dawson on the Run

one day being a cheerleading coach and i'm already obsessed. not with cheerleading, cheerleading is stupid, but with being a coach. coaching is great. so i'm motivated to learn what the hell a scorpion and a herkie and a liberty are, and pretend that i don't think it is the dumbest thing of all time. i did used to think aerobics was ridiculous too, and now i actually thrive on creating a cool step combo. so maybe one day i'll find joy in acting like a hyper plastic robot.

so it's a lot less about bad luck and a lot more about sheer stupidity with this one. it's been about a week now since i forgot to wear goggles in the tanning bed. if you know me, you know i have no business being in a tanning bed, but i'll go with the vitamin D excuse since vanity is too embarrassing. anyway, forgot to wear the goggles. i did notice the new poster on the way out of the booth though- with all the possible eye defects that occur when you don't protect your eyes. basically i think i burned out my retina or cornea or lens or something essential to vision. my eyes kill when i look side to side or up and down. i don't think it was any better that i left my glasses in RI so i had to wear the same melted contacts for 3 days. seriously, i can't see a freaking THING when i take them out, and i have like a blind spot on my right or something. well, at least my skin is burnt and my wrinkles are imminent. good all around.

guess who is the "host" of the instructional SAT video that i'm watching?
no way! it IS lorelei gilmore- how'd you know? but it is an 80's punked out permed hair, cakey death lipstick (i think that was probably the official name), hot-pink blazer wearing lorelei. must've been shortly after she had rory.

so my luck has been pretty bad the last few days- i did end up making my flight after all though, might have lost a good friend, missed dance class, poor car dented and the money better be coming out of that jack's pocket, looked like a fool in SAT class (hence the video- damn those words are hard), got a polite f-u letter from my imaginary boyfriend (and promptly sent my polite f-u 2 response), etc. there are funny stories behind these, but i don't even want to start since the internet, in keeping with my bad luck theme, will probably swallow this post as it has done in the past. ask if you want to know.

last, but not least, yay for the red sox! one of my students said he had lost complete respect for me as a person once i divulged my loyalty. then someone else called him a loser. then ensued a class battle. what's not to love? now, i do enjoy the excitement of a close game, but if the sox were to win the next one in 9 innings (or even just before 11 p.m.), i would be very happy. the students probably would prefer it if i were rested and coherent as well- damn overachievers. and to those non-believers out there, the NATION doesn't need you!

i just realized as i was singing along that i don't know what the hell "H to the izzO, V to the izzA" means. i wonder if i ever knew what it meant. is it something about virginia? hos in virginia? tiffany? kidding!

so i could easily grade and watch the game at the same time, but i think my kids will definitely have to buy "the game was on" excuse. who knew i loved baseball? RED SOX NATION!

so i'm finally living up to my blog headline again, but in a different way. this morning i ran the terp trot, a 5k at the University of Maryland. it kicked my ass, but was fun. thanks Melissa and Brett! it was also really sad. it brings back a lot of good memories- memories that are never to be relived. running up to 4701 felt so normal, like erika and val would be outside, justin would be bringing phoebe back from her walk, johnny would be outside cheering for me (if it were a race), or inside on his computer, mike and christina would be asleep, eric would be up to the same old shadiness, and molly would be off on an easy (yeah RIGHT) 1o mile loop somewhere. but alas, no one- not anyone- was around. the same snotty sorority girls were up at bagel place though, and made the same snotty comments to me. this time i almost fought back though... next time.

then, i had to go to a stupid pilates class. i hate pilates. but i'm going to be teaching it every other week (well, i like it when it's my OWN class), so i wanted to get a sense of what the class i'm taking over is like, you know? so i wasn't trying to go undercover or anything, but at the beginning the teacher announced it was her last class. she said dana and joy would be taking over. oh crap, i wasn't prepared for that. so i prolly could have said hi, i'm joy, at this point, but i still wasn't sure i wanted to stay for the whole class, and additionally, i wasn't even sure i'd be able to do the ridiculous "saw" or "scissor" or whatever bullshit moves they come up with. so i stayed quiet. then, the class is like, we know dana, but who is joy? so again, i prolly should've spoken up here, but still wasn't quite ready for all eyes on me while i struggled with "teaser" or "pilates downward dog" - it's the same damn move, so just call it downward dog already! then the teacher is like, i don't know joy, but i'm familiar with her background- it should be a good class. now i feel really uncomfortable and start making up a new identity for myself. i decide i am amy, a former dancer at american university, and that i normally go to the chevy chase gym...right, like all that was necessary. no one cared. but at the end of class, there was like a 10 minute farewell fest for the teacher, saying we'll miss you and we don't want new teachers. it is fun to be a spy. i'll have to wear my hair a different way or something next time though...or maybe i should dye it just to be safe.

RAR! i am SO PISSED!
i keep writing on this damn site, and then my stupid unreliable stolen internet craps out on me. the nerve. and NOW my email site isn't even freaking working. damn well better be by tonight. so what do i do with myself in the meantime? i have become a craigslist adicta. in a really bad way. as in i've ventured into the seemingly benign "activity partners" which none of us are surprised to learn is not purely platonic. neither is the "strictly platonic" section. I HAD TO! what the hell else was i supposed to do with my regularly scheduled hour of email time? it gets worse, but i've already exhausted my funny stories on the draft of this that got lost in criminalista cyberspace. it's definitely not as inspired the second time around.