Sunday, August 27, 2006
aviso: don't read this if you are eating or have a full stomach.
i am so so sick. it was horrible this afternoon- i was at school (it's sunday- thank god) when i started getting really hot and dizzy and had to ly down on the cool linoleum floor. but then i couldn't get up. i wasn't sure if this was due to a severe case of perioditis or if that was just an added bonus. anyway, after 10 minutes of psyching myself up to move, i basically crawled out of the school. i couldn't even see or hold my head up. i think i know what it feels like to have a stroke. i wonder if maybe i actually had a stroke? i drove the 4 minutes to my house (again- thank god) and got rid of those pesky clothes. i couldn't even find a position that i could survive in- i tried everything. and i was running to the bathroom so often to puke and do other things that i didn't even bother putting any clothes on. of course, my roommate was having new prospective roommates tour the apartment today. i tried to keep taking medicine so i could pass out, but it wasn't in my stomach long enough. it gives me a new appreciation for sickness and not what i usually consider "sick-day-worthy."
and to all of you who are like, do you know that you are posting this on the internet for everyone to read? yes, i'm aware. and you're the one that's reading it, so you're welcome.
oh my god- i wonder if megan mullaley just thanked tim in her emmy speech! i think she did! yay timmy!
i am so so sick. it was horrible this afternoon- i was at school (it's sunday- thank god) when i started getting really hot and dizzy and had to ly down on the cool linoleum floor. but then i couldn't get up. i wasn't sure if this was due to a severe case of perioditis or if that was just an added bonus. anyway, after 10 minutes of psyching myself up to move, i basically crawled out of the school. i couldn't even see or hold my head up. i think i know what it feels like to have a stroke. i wonder if maybe i actually had a stroke? i drove the 4 minutes to my house (again- thank god) and got rid of those pesky clothes. i couldn't even find a position that i could survive in- i tried everything. and i was running to the bathroom so often to puke and do other things that i didn't even bother putting any clothes on. of course, my roommate was having new prospective roommates tour the apartment today. i tried to keep taking medicine so i could pass out, but it wasn't in my stomach long enough. it gives me a new appreciation for sickness and not what i usually consider "sick-day-worthy."
and to all of you who are like, do you know that you are posting this on the internet for everyone to read? yes, i'm aware. and you're the one that's reading it, so you're welcome.
oh my god- i wonder if megan mullaley just thanked tim in her emmy speech! i think she did! yay timmy!
Friday, August 25, 2006
10 years ago i paid $40 for a tibetan freedom concert ticket.
there were so many good bands there- i don't remember them all because my sister stole the t-shirt that listed them- but the beastie boys were the main event. i remember thinking $40 was so expensive, but then i justified it- like well, it's for a whole DAY and it's a once in a lifetime thing. it turned out to be good fun and well worth $40.
the last concert i went to was madonna in 2003. my boyfriend at the time paid for them, so i don't really know how much they cost, but he told me $88. come on, it was madonna and it was my birthday- $88 a piece was a good deal.
so what the hell is going on with concert prices these days? kelly clarkson was like $70, crosby-stills-nash-young was $50 for the lawn! i thought about buying a virgin music festival ticket (the 2006 equivalent of the tibetan freedom concert) for a friend and it $195. he's not that good of a friend! but what is most disheartening, and the reason for me writing this blog, is because i am home blogging about it when i should be at the 9:30 club chillin with JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. how do his 16-year-old fans afford that ticket? i can't believe he's in my town and he's not going to get the chance to meet me. he's going to miss out on the chance to be my friend. and is that really fair to justin? it's hard to be this altruistic.
come on jt. justify that.
there were so many good bands there- i don't remember them all because my sister stole the t-shirt that listed them- but the beastie boys were the main event. i remember thinking $40 was so expensive, but then i justified it- like well, it's for a whole DAY and it's a once in a lifetime thing. it turned out to be good fun and well worth $40.
the last concert i went to was madonna in 2003. my boyfriend at the time paid for them, so i don't really know how much they cost, but he told me $88. come on, it was madonna and it was my birthday- $88 a piece was a good deal.
so what the hell is going on with concert prices these days? kelly clarkson was like $70, crosby-stills-nash-young was $50 for the lawn! i thought about buying a virgin music festival ticket (the 2006 equivalent of the tibetan freedom concert) for a friend and it $195. he's not that good of a friend! but what is most disheartening, and the reason for me writing this blog, is because i am home blogging about it when i should be at the 9:30 club chillin with JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. how do his 16-year-old fans afford that ticket? i can't believe he's in my town and he's not going to get the chance to meet me. he's going to miss out on the chance to be my friend. and is that really fair to justin? it's hard to be this altruistic.
come on jt. justify that.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
after 2 shows and 2 outings, i believe i have been converted. i THINK i am now an erik myers fan, though i wouldn't stake my brazil t-shirt on it. see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjb3Pp7X-Kw
they can't spell, i know, but they can add "fly in" and "fade out" features to the text. oooh! fancy film editors don't use spell check.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjb3Pp7X-Kw
they can't spell, i know, but they can add "fly in" and "fade out" features to the text. oooh! fancy film editors don't use spell check.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
you know what? i had a great story all ready to blog about. moronic angry losers (plural) wanting to fight with me on the road today. and how i shut them up real good. but my head is drifting into other clouds.
i taught at a middle school where i was very friendly with the only other spanish teacher. HE was my age. i teach at a high school where students see me with different guys both on and off school grounds at least once in awhile. at open mics, i usually talk to one guy way more than all the rest.
so why does no one start rumors about me?
no really, am i not worthy of the time it takes to even think of a rumor? do i not merit even the slightest bit of wonder in that area? how can everyone take for granted that i am going to be an old spinster cat lady? they should at least take the time to ask me if i even like cats!
i taught at a middle school where i was very friendly with the only other spanish teacher. HE was my age. i teach at a high school where students see me with different guys both on and off school grounds at least once in awhile. at open mics, i usually talk to one guy way more than all the rest.
so why does no one start rumors about me?
no really, am i not worthy of the time it takes to even think of a rumor? do i not merit even the slightest bit of wonder in that area? how can everyone take for granted that i am going to be an old spinster cat lady? they should at least take the time to ask me if i even like cats!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
take small helpings of everything and come back for seconds if you wish.
lots of people out running today. man, i miss running. i miss entering those little races and surpassing my goals. ah, achievement. but really, who am i kidding? i miss freaking being able to walk!
had to get it out; now a side helping of parent problems.
poms started today, so poms problems started today (more truthfully, they are constant). jocelyn doesn't show up and then when i finally get through her grandmother wants to accuse me of never calling them back. try 3 times, 3 messages! and try no one ever paid me her money for camp. then try to yell at me. she's ineligible. she failed 4th quarter. so you don't have to all big and bad intimidate me anymore because she's OUT. suzan, elisa, and natasha didn't have their physical forms so they had to sit out. vanessa, who auditioned on a videotape because she was in italy, can't dance. she must have edited that videotape or had a stand in double or something, because we are talking BAD.
would you like a scoop of school sucks?
then we had a little coaches meeting. my principal reminded me why i hate that school. because grades are made available online to the students at all times. because grades are such an important part of student achievement. blah blah bullshit. placing so much emphasis on grades takes away from student learning and fosters an artificial learning environment. but i'm no one; i only have a bachelor's degree and a brain, so i'm very low on the totem pole. and they would also probably ban me from saying "totem pole" or "picnic" or having my students refer to me as "massa."
yeah, that's right. wash it down with a tall glass of over the top pc.
lots of people out running today. man, i miss running. i miss entering those little races and surpassing my goals. ah, achievement. but really, who am i kidding? i miss freaking being able to walk!
had to get it out; now a side helping of parent problems.
poms started today, so poms problems started today (more truthfully, they are constant). jocelyn doesn't show up and then when i finally get through her grandmother wants to accuse me of never calling them back. try 3 times, 3 messages! and try no one ever paid me her money for camp. then try to yell at me. she's ineligible. she failed 4th quarter. so you don't have to all big and bad intimidate me anymore because she's OUT. suzan, elisa, and natasha didn't have their physical forms so they had to sit out. vanessa, who auditioned on a videotape because she was in italy, can't dance. she must have edited that videotape or had a stand in double or something, because we are talking BAD.
would you like a scoop of school sucks?
then we had a little coaches meeting. my principal reminded me why i hate that school. because grades are made available online to the students at all times. because grades are such an important part of student achievement. blah blah bullshit. placing so much emphasis on grades takes away from student learning and fosters an artificial learning environment. but i'm no one; i only have a bachelor's degree and a brain, so i'm very low on the totem pole. and they would also probably ban me from saying "totem pole" or "picnic" or having my students refer to me as "massa."
yeah, that's right. wash it down with a tall glass of over the top pc.
Monday, August 14, 2006
this blog might be particularly irrelevant to you because i don't want to provide the background info necessary to totally relate, but you'll get a taste.
there are a lot of new open mikers these days, myself included. within this group, there are a lot of annoying people, myself excluded. (i keep to myself and say hi sometimes- i hardly think i qualify as annoying, but you are free to disagree.) yesterday i was sitting by myself as usual and heard a group of new guys (well, maybe they aren't new, but i've never seen them before...) talking "the talk." one appeared to be the self-proclaimed leader. he considered himself to be all-knowledgeable in regards to comedy in general as well as the local scene. they all sounded like they were eating conceit and raisin cookies and washing them down with irritating juice. they more they talked the more i hated. i felt hate seething beneath my skin. but then one goes, "sometimes pretty great comics come through this stop when they're on tour- like danny rouhier." so of course, i had to laugh. out loud. quiet alone girl suddenly becomes crazy schizo. yeah, he also drops in every now and then to work a full-time job.
you just can't get this. i should've written about the awful speaker i listened to at the coaches' meeting today instead. i'm sorry i wrote it, but i'm not deleting it.
they go on to kiss the asses of other "great" comics who aren't there, all the while competing in the cockiest comic competition. when the mc comes in, who is definitely on par with these other "greats", they are rude and condescending. like, "hey man, can you change this part of my bio on my intro?" or like, "hey, can you light me at 6 instead of 5?" or like, "can you tell me 3 people before i'm up so that i can change into my dope shiny tupac shirt [so i can do one lame-ass joke about it at the beginning of my routine]?" i suppose i should cite these lines as sean's- he's the one that told me they actually said that.
now i'm on the phone so i really can't write at the same time. it might be like, incoherent or not interesting, or something unfathomable like that.
there are a lot of new open mikers these days, myself included. within this group, there are a lot of annoying people, myself excluded. (i keep to myself and say hi sometimes- i hardly think i qualify as annoying, but you are free to disagree.) yesterday i was sitting by myself as usual and heard a group of new guys (well, maybe they aren't new, but i've never seen them before...) talking "the talk." one appeared to be the self-proclaimed leader. he considered himself to be all-knowledgeable in regards to comedy in general as well as the local scene. they all sounded like they were eating conceit and raisin cookies and washing them down with irritating juice. they more they talked the more i hated. i felt hate seething beneath my skin. but then one goes, "sometimes pretty great comics come through this stop when they're on tour- like danny rouhier." so of course, i had to laugh. out loud. quiet alone girl suddenly becomes crazy schizo. yeah, he also drops in every now and then to work a full-time job.
you just can't get this. i should've written about the awful speaker i listened to at the coaches' meeting today instead. i'm sorry i wrote it, but i'm not deleting it.
they go on to kiss the asses of other "great" comics who aren't there, all the while competing in the cockiest comic competition. when the mc comes in, who is definitely on par with these other "greats", they are rude and condescending. like, "hey man, can you change this part of my bio on my intro?" or like, "hey, can you light me at 6 instead of 5?" or like, "can you tell me 3 people before i'm up so that i can change into my dope shiny tupac shirt [so i can do one lame-ass joke about it at the beginning of my routine]?" i suppose i should cite these lines as sean's- he's the one that told me they actually said that.
now i'm on the phone so i really can't write at the same time. it might be like, incoherent or not interesting, or something unfathomable like that.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
August 8th must've been the official day to leave me a myspace comment. who sent the memo? oh, maybe it has a little something to do with my superhot pic. what can i say? i've been working out. ;) i was wondering if my myspace page were too inappropriate if i'd get fired. i'll have to keep that in mind when i'm looking for a way out this year. then i can go work for jackie at sky sport and spa (bravo's workout). i mean, you've seen my pic, why wouldn't she hire me?
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i just bought this wine that is very nice. exactly what i wanted. this is both good and bad. i like wine...
how do you know you're ugly? when you LIKE the attention of cat calls on the street. when someone says "hey- you're hot" and you WAVE hello. pretty people make disgusted faces and giggle to their girlfriends while rolling their eyes "as if..."
i know there was something i wanted to write about... see, i told you the wine was a bad thing!
well i shall write about my favorite topic then- overanalyzing relationships. most guys can never win. for example, when a relationship consists solely of midnight visits, she can't help but feel sick that she is being used. BUT, when during a midnight visit he asks, "do you mind if we just sleep tonight?" she can't help but question what is wrong with her and what is going on and isn't she attractive anymore?
he calls to see if she needs a ride from the airport. she hears, "i am so considerate and caring. i not only want to make sure you get home safe and sound, i want to see you so badly that i can't even wait the hour it would take to ride the metro home."
he leaves a voicemail message that says, "hi joy, this is X (he's extremely dark), just returning your call." in a very curt and formal way. she hears, "i am hurting inside and need lots of love." OR "i am with my friends and am embarrassed to admit that i really know you." OR "it's time we break up, but i'm too much of a pussy to do it myself so i'm going to be cold and heartless until you get the idea to end it yourself."
i should put a disclaimer on this shit. yesterday a friend asked me about my 3 boyfriends- i can only assume he read about that in the blog since the 3 guys aren't exactly publicizing it. no no, i'm kidding! this blog used to be factual, but my life got too boring. now i have license to mix it up a bit. enjoy.
how do you know you're ugly? when you LIKE the attention of cat calls on the street. when someone says "hey- you're hot" and you WAVE hello. pretty people make disgusted faces and giggle to their girlfriends while rolling their eyes "as if..."
i know there was something i wanted to write about... see, i told you the wine was a bad thing!
well i shall write about my favorite topic then- overanalyzing relationships. most guys can never win. for example, when a relationship consists solely of midnight visits, she can't help but feel sick that she is being used. BUT, when during a midnight visit he asks, "do you mind if we just sleep tonight?" she can't help but question what is wrong with her and what is going on and isn't she attractive anymore?
he calls to see if she needs a ride from the airport. she hears, "i am so considerate and caring. i not only want to make sure you get home safe and sound, i want to see you so badly that i can't even wait the hour it would take to ride the metro home."
he leaves a voicemail message that says, "hi joy, this is X (he's extremely dark), just returning your call." in a very curt and formal way. she hears, "i am hurting inside and need lots of love." OR "i am with my friends and am embarrassed to admit that i really know you." OR "it's time we break up, but i'm too much of a pussy to do it myself so i'm going to be cold and heartless until you get the idea to end it yourself."
i should put a disclaimer on this shit. yesterday a friend asked me about my 3 boyfriends- i can only assume he read about that in the blog since the 3 guys aren't exactly publicizing it. no no, i'm kidding! this blog used to be factual, but my life got too boring. now i have license to mix it up a bit. enjoy.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
the harlequin romance novel is back. ehren said he liked the change of pace, a high compliment coming from him, (i'm kissing ass here ehren- i know the phone was obnoxious the other day), so i've undeleted it. not sure how i feel about it.
tonight was a good comedy night. my peak perhaps. i almost didn't go because i had no cleanish clothes to wear, but i didn't want to waste the opportunity (it's hard to get stage time when you suck). i was really desperate- i mean i would have even worn a skirt if there had been one that wasn't over the stink limit. so i had to dig through the winter clothes and found my skinny summer clothes. the horror. but i had to try unless i wanted to be wearing fleece pants during a heat wave.
success! don't go celebrating for me, i'm still a chunky peanut butter girl. but somehow i got them up both legs and over my ass and even buttoned. i guess some girls do this on a regular basis, but i'm a creature of elastic waistbands and room to breathe. so i was psyched- even wore contacts and did my make-up (i try to look cute on days when i'm petrified of sucking so that at least i get some positive attention). i'm running late but things are okay until i go to get into my car. first, i can't really lift my leg up to get in- i rip the pre-ripped hole a little more, no worries. but i can't really sit down. they are like not going to expand enough to let me bend that way! i drove anyway, in discomfort, fat bulging through the trendy holes and spilling over the sides of the waist. i'm fairly certain there is butt crack showing but i can't turn around.
fortunately i'm not a sit down comic. ha ha. right, so andy kline, my new favorite "local" comic, says pre-ripped jeans should come with a story of how the holes were formed. so if you buy them at abercrombie, you got the holes doing an archaeological dig, but if you got them at k-mart you got the holes in the knees from blowing someone at a gas station. mine are hollister, but i got them at marshalls. so i must've been fixing a flat on my tractor while at the la jolla beach parking lot. ??? i know it doesn't make sense. like you're so perfect or something. look up andy kline. i'm going to add him to my myspace, so you can find him there if you can handle it.
can you handle it?
tonight was a good comedy night. my peak perhaps. i almost didn't go because i had no cleanish clothes to wear, but i didn't want to waste the opportunity (it's hard to get stage time when you suck). i was really desperate- i mean i would have even worn a skirt if there had been one that wasn't over the stink limit. so i had to dig through the winter clothes and found my skinny summer clothes. the horror. but i had to try unless i wanted to be wearing fleece pants during a heat wave.
success! don't go celebrating for me, i'm still a chunky peanut butter girl. but somehow i got them up both legs and over my ass and even buttoned. i guess some girls do this on a regular basis, but i'm a creature of elastic waistbands and room to breathe. so i was psyched- even wore contacts and did my make-up (i try to look cute on days when i'm petrified of sucking so that at least i get some positive attention). i'm running late but things are okay until i go to get into my car. first, i can't really lift my leg up to get in- i rip the pre-ripped hole a little more, no worries. but i can't really sit down. they are like not going to expand enough to let me bend that way! i drove anyway, in discomfort, fat bulging through the trendy holes and spilling over the sides of the waist. i'm fairly certain there is butt crack showing but i can't turn around.
fortunately i'm not a sit down comic. ha ha. right, so andy kline, my new favorite "local" comic, says pre-ripped jeans should come with a story of how the holes were formed. so if you buy them at abercrombie, you got the holes doing an archaeological dig, but if you got them at k-mart you got the holes in the knees from blowing someone at a gas station. mine are hollister, but i got them at marshalls. so i must've been fixing a flat on my tractor while at the la jolla beach parking lot. ??? i know it doesn't make sense. like you're so perfect or something. look up andy kline. i'm going to add him to my myspace, so you can find him there if you can handle it.
can you handle it?
