Sunday, April 08, 2007
ehren says some men are dogs.
duh.
but he means that they are loyal, happy to serve, enthusiastic companions, eager for love. cute, simple, content. and if life were easy, i'd love a dog. but i'm interested in the other animals my friend says men can be- raccoons. crafty scavengers- their intellect and daring enable them to survive in the cities or the wild. not easily tamed nor phased by human contact, they center their focus and drive into more creative endeavors such as writing, acting, cooking, telling jokes... oh, right, uh...
i could fall madly in love with a dog; a docile, loving, domesticated pet. but could i truly respect a dog? it seems difficult to respect those i view as lacking passion and independence. BUT a raccoon, the exciting and adventurous creature of the night, will never give me the love, affection, and consideration that i hate to admit that i need. and probably won't let me win arguments to my liking. oh, yeah, i mean...
so what i need is a raccoon-dog. which actually exist, as an animal anyway. they are commonly found in woodlands or rural villages (perfect!) of japan, italy, france, siberia, and scandinavia (says wikipedia). or maybe i should just stop being such a freaking emotional overanalyzing chimp and be more of chilled out lazy grazin' cow.
on that note, i shall now eat a pizza and drink several ciders. mooooo. burp.
duh.
but he means that they are loyal, happy to serve, enthusiastic companions, eager for love. cute, simple, content. and if life were easy, i'd love a dog. but i'm interested in the other animals my friend says men can be- raccoons. crafty scavengers- their intellect and daring enable them to survive in the cities or the wild. not easily tamed nor phased by human contact, they center their focus and drive into more creative endeavors such as writing, acting, cooking, telling jokes... oh, right, uh...
i could fall madly in love with a dog; a docile, loving, domesticated pet. but could i truly respect a dog? it seems difficult to respect those i view as lacking passion and independence. BUT a raccoon, the exciting and adventurous creature of the night, will never give me the love, affection, and consideration that i hate to admit that i need. and probably won't let me win arguments to my liking. oh, yeah, i mean...
so what i need is a raccoon-dog. which actually exist, as an animal anyway. they are commonly found in woodlands or rural villages (perfect!) of japan, italy, france, siberia, and scandinavia (says wikipedia). or maybe i should just stop being such a freaking emotional overanalyzing chimp and be more of chilled out lazy grazin' cow.
on that note, i shall now eat a pizza and drink several ciders. mooooo. burp.
Monday, April 02, 2007
we live in a sick society that values money and appearances over love and integrity, that sensationalizes government politics and catastrophic events, that has an actual audience for "i love new york." i find myself a victim of this flu sometimes. NOT the i love new york part, but i do watch E!News. and once in awhile i am too lazy to change the channel after general hospital, so i end up watching oprah.
why do i want to watch a 4-part series of oprah taking a road trip across the county with her best friend? that is a little presumptuous. i might have had to watch 5 minutes of her complaining about the stench of manure. i know i definitely watched 30 minutes of her cornering people at roadstops saying "i'm oprah winfrey" and waiting for them to gush over her. really- there was no other plan. she even went so far as to crash 2 weddings with gail, just showing up with her "i'm oprah, now freak out cuz i'm so much better than you" m.o., and thank goodness they were southerners so the brides were all sweet about it. if i ever get a wedding that is MY DAY and ain't no damn Oprah gonna come in make it all about HER. i will leave specific instructions at the door.
gotta go. time to watch the new scoop on lindsay lohan stealing away with stavros in the backseat. (paris hilton's bf, of course.) priorities, people.
why do i want to watch a 4-part series of oprah taking a road trip across the county with her best friend? that is a little presumptuous. i might have had to watch 5 minutes of her complaining about the stench of manure. i know i definitely watched 30 minutes of her cornering people at roadstops saying "i'm oprah winfrey" and waiting for them to gush over her. really- there was no other plan. she even went so far as to crash 2 weddings with gail, just showing up with her "i'm oprah, now freak out cuz i'm so much better than you" m.o., and thank goodness they were southerners so the brides were all sweet about it. if i ever get a wedding that is MY DAY and ain't no damn Oprah gonna come in make it all about HER. i will leave specific instructions at the door.
gotta go. time to watch the new scoop on lindsay lohan stealing away with stavros in the backseat. (paris hilton's bf, of course.) priorities, people.
