Tuesday, April 19, 2005
7. last night, i found her sheets and a pair of "fundees" (no, this is not a new word that you don't know about nor a word i made up to mean 'fun underwear', rather it is what the tag on her fun underwear really said) in the dryer.
Monday, April 18, 2005
so i've finally found a couple of minutes here at school to get to the blog, but i DO want to get the heck outta here so i'll have to get right to the nitty gritty since i no longer have a computer at home (stupid lazy people that can't decipher 0's and 1's- now you just get nothin'). right, so along the way there has been some gary williams supermarket stalking, some imaginary love drama (because it is so sad not to have love), some terrificly biotchy comments from my roommate, but by far the most interesting news of all is that my other roommate is a whore. a legitimate whore, i kid you not.
okay, so i really don't know for a fact- but without embellishment, here is what i do know.
1. she is sketchy. period.
2. she leaves the apt. at 1 a.m. several nights a week.
3. my friend mich saw her sneak a guy out at 5 a.m. one morning looking completely horrified to find michelle awake in the living room. (i am a sound sleeper, so i've never been witness to any sneaking out or in UNTIL...)
4. yesterday night, i awake to pounding on the door at 4 a.m. again. and again. i think my roommate must be locked out. i get out of bed and ask who it is. it's mike. he's here to see my roommate. "what's her name?" he says he doesn't know- he just met her on the internet. whatever man. i'll go get her, and she can deal with your shady ass. too bad my bedroom door doesn't lock is all.
5. my roommate sees me for the first time after said incident and wildly ducks into the house, not looking at me and holding a lean cuisine in my face. wtf? i just stare at her. she says she's so so so sorry about the mix-up last night. okay, get the lean cuisine out of my face. i keep staring. she says they were out of chicken frontega's at panera. i am assuming this lean cuisine in my face is supposed to make up for something very bad. she must feel guilty. do whores feel guilty? i wouldn't have thought that. and lean cuisine? are you kidding? you think lean cuisine takes the place of panera? a stupid whore at that.
6. i am moving out. more because of the biotch and the skanky boyfriend than the whore. i'll have to start searching craigslist if i ever get my computer back, because time for today is UP!
okay, so i really don't know for a fact- but without embellishment, here is what i do know.
1. she is sketchy. period.
2. she leaves the apt. at 1 a.m. several nights a week.
3. my friend mich saw her sneak a guy out at 5 a.m. one morning looking completely horrified to find michelle awake in the living room. (i am a sound sleeper, so i've never been witness to any sneaking out or in UNTIL...)
4. yesterday night, i awake to pounding on the door at 4 a.m. again. and again. i think my roommate must be locked out. i get out of bed and ask who it is. it's mike. he's here to see my roommate. "what's her name?" he says he doesn't know- he just met her on the internet. whatever man. i'll go get her, and she can deal with your shady ass. too bad my bedroom door doesn't lock is all.
5. my roommate sees me for the first time after said incident and wildly ducks into the house, not looking at me and holding a lean cuisine in my face. wtf? i just stare at her. she says she's so so so sorry about the mix-up last night. okay, get the lean cuisine out of my face. i keep staring. she says they were out of chicken frontega's at panera. i am assuming this lean cuisine in my face is supposed to make up for something very bad. she must feel guilty. do whores feel guilty? i wouldn't have thought that. and lean cuisine? are you kidding? you think lean cuisine takes the place of panera? a stupid whore at that.
6. i am moving out. more because of the biotch and the skanky boyfriend than the whore. i'll have to start searching craigslist if i ever get my computer back, because time for today is UP!
Saturday, April 09, 2005
it's been a long time since i've seen my own backside. man, do i have some work to do. unless mich is going to do it for me.
anyway, i was forced to finally go shopping since once baggy lounge sweats have now become practically spandex workout wear. and work clothes? forget it! so i had to go to the mall the other day. it's a crazy place. but i was on a low-budget mission, so i passed right by the shoe sale with hoardes of women crowding and pushing (not exaggerating here) and went straight to old navy. old navy lies about their sizes, which is good for my morale, because i choose to accept their lies as truth. but when did i get cellulite? when did the back of my knee become blue with veins? and when did the erector spinae lining the side of my spine become a major indentation? yeah, i'm gross, but at least i don't have to look at it! why doesn't this happen to guys?
and it's really hard to find clothes that fit, never mind clothes that i like. i can empathize now- i finally understand what all the complaining is about. this is the weirdest thing though- i tried on a million pairs of white pants(or like 5 but it felt like a million) and they are all kind of see-through, some more than others. so in this one particularly see through pair, there is like an extra strip of white in the butt to cover up the color of your thong. however, instead it ends up looking like a very pronounced white thong. i don't get it. i also don't get how girls move in those tiny tiny skirts out now, but i don't hear many guys concerned about that issue. i agree, it's pretty hot. (if you are cellulite and vein-free, of course.) and all the colors look like candy. kind of 80's candy. like we are all bubbalicious. or chewels! wearing thongs outside of our flourescent bike shorts which were previously loose shorts. i'm becoming miss sandi! (my first dance teacher back in 1981) at least the rest of y'all look good. good for you! :)-
anyway, i was forced to finally go shopping since once baggy lounge sweats have now become practically spandex workout wear. and work clothes? forget it! so i had to go to the mall the other day. it's a crazy place. but i was on a low-budget mission, so i passed right by the shoe sale with hoardes of women crowding and pushing (not exaggerating here) and went straight to old navy. old navy lies about their sizes, which is good for my morale, because i choose to accept their lies as truth. but when did i get cellulite? when did the back of my knee become blue with veins? and when did the erector spinae lining the side of my spine become a major indentation? yeah, i'm gross, but at least i don't have to look at it! why doesn't this happen to guys?
and it's really hard to find clothes that fit, never mind clothes that i like. i can empathize now- i finally understand what all the complaining is about. this is the weirdest thing though- i tried on a million pairs of white pants(or like 5 but it felt like a million) and they are all kind of see-through, some more than others. so in this one particularly see through pair, there is like an extra strip of white in the butt to cover up the color of your thong. however, instead it ends up looking like a very pronounced white thong. i don't get it. i also don't get how girls move in those tiny tiny skirts out now, but i don't hear many guys concerned about that issue. i agree, it's pretty hot. (if you are cellulite and vein-free, of course.) and all the colors look like candy. kind of 80's candy. like we are all bubbalicious. or chewels! wearing thongs outside of our flourescent bike shorts which were previously loose shorts. i'm becoming miss sandi! (my first dance teacher back in 1981) at least the rest of y'all look good. good for you! :)-
Thursday, April 07, 2005
i'm about done with this post, re-post, and re-write re-post again b.s. stupid website. and i'm also on my last nerve as i ride that long downhill slope of declining student behavior from spring-break to june. my very last taut and brittle nerve.
but here i go anyway- off on my boy-crazy cloud. yes, my tryst with nina has left me boy-crazy. really just for the "movement analyst," whom i've considered emailing with a "i really enjoyed your class" cover, but can't quite decide if it's right or not. and you all have beautiful, wonderful significant others, and tire easily of my middle-school crushes. how about my online dating experience then? you can't know too much about that...or shouldn't anyway. here's the deal: it's a mess. a straight up mess. i tell myself that i'm good and normal, and that there are plenty of other good and normal people on the site as well. WHERE? because i am NOT answering any 'winks' that are a part of an obvious generic mass mail, or any with the word? 'prity' (which is far worse than 'definately'), nor do i find attractive pictures of you resembling the devil, or playing human automobile tag in your spare time. this is not me being picky! it is all for naught anyway- not like i'm ever going to pay for the service that allows you to email back. but if i do, i'll be sure to let you know! and muchas gracias a nina for opening me up to these possibilities. :)- buena suerte!
but here i go anyway- off on my boy-crazy cloud. yes, my tryst with nina has left me boy-crazy. really just for the "movement analyst," whom i've considered emailing with a "i really enjoyed your class" cover, but can't quite decide if it's right or not. and you all have beautiful, wonderful significant others, and tire easily of my middle-school crushes. how about my online dating experience then? you can't know too much about that...or shouldn't anyway. here's the deal: it's a mess. a straight up mess. i tell myself that i'm good and normal, and that there are plenty of other good and normal people on the site as well. WHERE? because i am NOT answering any 'winks' that are a part of an obvious generic mass mail, or any with the word? 'prity' (which is far worse than 'definately'), nor do i find attractive pictures of you resembling the devil, or playing human automobile tag in your spare time. this is not me being picky! it is all for naught anyway- not like i'm ever going to pay for the service that allows you to email back. but if i do, i'll be sure to let you know! and muchas gracias a nina for opening me up to these possibilities. :)- buena suerte!
Saturday, April 02, 2005
last night i put my pr0file 0n match.c0m_ y0u have t0 enter criteria f0r the pe0p1e y0u want t0 meet. i d0n't rea11y have any "requirements" per say, but i th0ught i'd be safe narr0wing it d0wn t0 ma1es, between 5'8-6'4 and 23-29 (n0, i wasn't kidding ab0ut that 23), wh0 d0n't sm0ke and 1ive c10se t0 me_ pretty general, n0?
s0 imagine my surprise this m0rning when i wa1ked int0 my training c1ass and did a d0ub1e-take up0n seeing my 5'7, 30-31 year 01d, virginia-1iving instructor (those are all guesses by the way.) rare1y d0es any0ne catch my eye like that. yeah yeah, i'm pickier than i can aff0rd t0 be, i kn0w a1ready. but the first impression 0n1y g0t better! he's a pers0na1 trainer AND a physica1 therapist AND has great sh0es! he terms himse1f a 'm0vement ana1yst.' i w0nder what kind 0f ana1yst i am. because a1th0ugh i'm c0nfident that i was gazing at him m0re intent1y than any0ne e1se in the c1ass, i'm pretty sure i was pr0cessing the 1east 0f whatever he might have been saying. instead, i n0ted the number 0f times he 100ked at himse1f in the mirr0r, that his ph0ne number meant he had 1ived in b0st0n, that he was as immature as me- making us say “PNS” – as in nerv0us system- 3 times fast (by the way, when we didn't laugh he said it must be over our heads- uh yeah, that's it), that he ate a baja fresh burrit0 f0r 1unch and drank deer park water, that he said ‘c0nverse1y’ and ‘dictates’ a mi11i0n times, the way he interlaced his fingers through the skeleton's (cutely, not creepily), etc. that stuff is s0 fun! i know i gave you all the details without the actual analysis, but that part will make me seem even more psycho. it’s a11 harm1ess because he wi11 mistaken1y think he’s t00 g00d f0r me (0r maybe his gir1friend wi11?) he DID say that pe0p1e fail this test frequent1y th0ugh, s0 t0m0rr0w i wi11 TRY t0 pay attenti0n t0 the meaning 0f his w0rds instead 0f watching his 1ips as they f0rm them!
and d0n’t use y0ur im screen name as y0ur match.c0m 10g-in_ stupid, stupid, stupid!
s0 imagine my surprise this m0rning when i wa1ked int0 my training c1ass and did a d0ub1e-take up0n seeing my 5'7, 30-31 year 01d, virginia-1iving instructor (those are all guesses by the way.) rare1y d0es any0ne catch my eye like that. yeah yeah, i'm pickier than i can aff0rd t0 be, i kn0w a1ready. but the first impression 0n1y g0t better! he's a pers0na1 trainer AND a physica1 therapist AND has great sh0es! he terms himse1f a 'm0vement ana1yst.' i w0nder what kind 0f ana1yst i am. because a1th0ugh i'm c0nfident that i was gazing at him m0re intent1y than any0ne e1se in the c1ass, i'm pretty sure i was pr0cessing the 1east 0f whatever he might have been saying. instead, i n0ted the number 0f times he 100ked at himse1f in the mirr0r, that his ph0ne number meant he had 1ived in b0st0n, that he was as immature as me- making us say “PNS” – as in nerv0us system- 3 times fast (by the way, when we didn't laugh he said it must be over our heads- uh yeah, that's it), that he ate a baja fresh burrit0 f0r 1unch and drank deer park water, that he said ‘c0nverse1y’ and ‘dictates’ a mi11i0n times, the way he interlaced his fingers through the skeleton's (cutely, not creepily), etc. that stuff is s0 fun! i know i gave you all the details without the actual analysis, but that part will make me seem even more psycho. it’s a11 harm1ess because he wi11 mistaken1y think he’s t00 g00d f0r me (0r maybe his gir1friend wi11?) he DID say that pe0p1e fail this test frequent1y th0ugh, s0 t0m0rr0w i wi11 TRY t0 pay attenti0n t0 the meaning 0f his w0rds instead 0f watching his 1ips as they f0rm them!
and d0n’t use y0ur im screen name as y0ur match.c0m 10g-in_ stupid, stupid, stupid!
