Dawson on the Run

i am ebeneezer bleezer. i run bleezer's ice cream store. there are flavors in my freezer you have never seen before. 28 divine creations too delicious to resist. why not do yourself a favor? try the flavors on my list:
coca mocha macaroni
tapioca smoked bologna
checkerberry chedder chew
chicken cherry honeydew
tutti frutti stewed tomato
peanut butter baked potato
sassafras suvlaki hash
sukiyaki succotash
lobster lychee lima bean
mozzerella mangosteen
almond ham merengue salami
pepperoni pear pastrami

okay, so there's only 12. there are enough ingredients for 28, plus they're all stolen. i only wish i were ebeneezer bleezer. instead, i teach high school. ugh.

just in case you think i've invented my new killer bitch personality, gustavo told me yesterday that i look like the kind of woman that would hit people. fantastic.

if you can't tell, i've been super stressed out lately. i can't really figure out why, but everyone thinks i'm a jerk, and in return, i'm living their reality. my dad reminded me that it should be a pretty tough time for me right now, but is that really what's eating away at me? i can't do anything right anymore, when normally i'm capable of doing all that i want. it's been a few weeks. do i quit my job over this? should i seek professional help? perhaps i just need a friend or a boyfriend or something. but who wants to hang out with such a bitch?

i just want to be nice again.

everyone wants to throw their shit at me lately. stupid apes.

why do you think i should bear the brunt of your aggression? well you bullies, things have changed on this end. the high road is getting old. i'm about to go warm up my arm and then i'll take a huge dump. you better run or duck bitches.